9 Great Games You Can Play With Ice Cream

Nine Great Games You Can Play With Ice Cream:

1) Ice Cream Tossing!

– A lot like juggling except this time you’ve got Ice Cream and if you drop it you don’t receive embarrassment but instead the cries of a million broken dreams from a host of bawling children…

It’s fun, trust me.

2) Ice Cream Baseball!

– A great game made for fun times and memorable occasions. Perfect for a hot summer’s day when you round of family bonding and ice-cool refreshment is just what Jones the unreliable family doctor ordered!

3) Ice Cream Tag!

– It’s like your two most favourite childhood dreams come together in a glorious symphony of adrenaline, laughter and sugary goodness! Plus it totally leeds onto my personal favourite game, Lick Your Neighbour!

4) Ice Cream Luck!

– Probably the most daring of all these games, Ice Cream Luck involves setting nearby items or unfortunately placed pieces of furniture on fire and then frantically bombarding them with love buckets of frozen cream, sugar and happiness to prevent your family from burning to death! Good times assured…

5) Ice Cream Drop!

Buckets of love!

– Dropping sparkling Ice Cream Rain down onto the passing public from tall buildings! It’s like granting a miracle. They’ll thank you for it later :)

6) Clay Cream!

– What’s better for the gentleman than a good spot of Clay Pigeon shooting? So why not make good better with the addition of semi-frozen pleasure in a cone? Go ahead, try it.

7) Ice Cream Party!

There ain’t no party like an Ice Cream party…

8) Ice Cream Fencing!

– A wonderful example of sports being re-invented… This exciting twist to a classic sport makes it not only fun and accessible to youngsters it also sets up their skills and reflexes for a life of professional fencing in the wonderful years to come!

The wonderful system also allows the use of hidden blades, stored in the sub-zero wonder cream for use in the sneaky later stages of a fight for good old fashioned kiddie murder! Yes that’s right Jimmy, keep on stabbing until you can’t feel his dark heart beating anymore. His was his fault your father cheated on your mother with his secretary and forced their marriage apart and left you to the councillors and social workers to drift the streams of foster care and hopelessness for eight years while your parents recovered from mental breakdowns and periodic lapses into self-hatred-induced bilge drinking. Yes Jimmy, thrust, thrust Jimmy! Mua-hahaha!

On second thought, that’s probably not the greatest game for children…

9) Ice Cream Shot!

– An ingenious combination of high-grade explosives, idiotic self-endangerment and frozen sugary treats forms a wonderful pastime for all ages!

Easily constructed out of discontinued military hardware and illegal black-market weaponry this game will have you rolling on the floor laughing so hard you’ll start bleeding. Just like all your friends! :D

10) Barbwire Jump!

– Jump on barbed wire.

In fact there’s a lot less about this game to do with Ice Cream than there appeared to be… I’m not even sure there was ten games to start with? Was there? No, how did this get here then? Oh well there’s always a good time at the Sellafield Playgroup I guess…

The Slender Man

He’s behind you every step of the way. He’s waiting behind every tree. Hiding under every conveniently placed dumpster. He’s where you’d least expect him. He looks totally debonair in his $700 suit. And he loves the taste of face.

Yes, it’s exactly what you think.

He is the Tall Man.

The Slim Man..

The Outlander…

He is the Slender Man.

And he is behind you right now…


If walk down the road to get some milk from the shop. He’ll be there. Watching silently from the shadows, tangled tongues twisting in gloopy circles, a hiss eminating from deep back in his throat.

He is the Slender Man.

And he is watching.

People disrespect this fact. People go and make funny pictures, post around on 9GAG all sorts of humorous quips about the Outlander.

They pay no respect to the power that waits quietly behind them. And that is their downfall.

In fact I’m sure you can credit the economic disaster, global warming and child soldiers all to the Slender Man’s pure, unbridled anger and the sounds of his screams that carry the stench of sulphur.

Slender is out there people.

And he is watching.

The next time you trip over your shoelace or drop a coin just stop to think for a minute. This is all probably his fault. And you’ve done something to piss him off.

So tread carefully my friends. No one knows the bounds of his fury. More will come, Slender will be exposed and I bet my life that I can prove his identieafdffffffffffffffffffffffffff–……………………….

Honey, I’m home…


A pale grey mist slides slowly over the decrepit road. It’s been a long time, and the scent of ancient undisturbed memories hangs heavy in the air. You walk quietly down the road, your feet giving little sighs as you move across the remainder of damp leaves that carpet a floor of broken promises. There’s a forgotten feel to this place. As if it once spoke of grandeur and greater things, of luxury and wealth. A place of laughter and good will. But that was a long time ago… Now this place is just a shell of what it used to be, abandoned and left rejected by an unloving creator…

Until NOW!

Lots and lots of happy faces!!! @#$! :) :) :)) :) :))))) :) :)

Hello you beautiful people!

Now, before you start shouting, I deeply apologise for my grievous sins…

I know you’re frail and fragile and need my warm and nurturing love, and I know I just left you to the wolves and beasties and went out in search of Herobrine myself…

…But I’m here now lovies! And I promise I won’t ever leave you alone again, coz I know how some of you have attachment/abandonment issues…

But that’s okay because Joshie loves you.

Yes, and you and you and you.

Joshie is a whoreo and loves every single one of you!

Naughty Joshie!

:)

*Hugs from Joshie*

Isn’t Joshie awesome?

Aww… Thanks :3… Well I’m glad you think so because I am, and I respect your decision .. Now go get off your lazy asses and go tell your friends about how awesome insertmyfeed is…!

And if you don’t think it’s awesome, please kindly keep your ill-informed opinions to yourself…

On another 8-bit note, I’d like to make an announcement…

I’m planning on writing longer, more meaningful posts now. Yes that’s right, filled with all the laughs, truths, facts, events, catastrophes and brobdingnagian exaggerations you can handle while juggling a pair of chainsmoking elephants!

Woo! for fact!

Woo! for truthful meanderings!

Woo! for hyperbole!

Woo! for Josh!

So in-between these mind-boggling pieces of digital gold will be smaller more ridiculous supplements like Brand New Day and other such gems.

Yay!

Also to smooth over your seeping wounds left from my traumatic disappearance I’ll be giving away free sh*t!

Yes, that’s right, all you wonderful subscribers/followers will be getting not only 1 whole 100% free, brand new, all-exclusive, one-time premiere, amazing new post but also 1 whole 100% free, brand new, all-exclusive, one-time premiere, amazing new sudoku puzzle

:D

The Posting… Beware, I warn you: He is OUT there.
The Sudoku:

_ o_o _

Oh, by the way, it’s totally filled out already… Oops.  :o